People Enrich My Life

Before I began this weight loss journey, my body image was linked directly to my self-worth. Society told me my physical shape was unacceptable; I knew this because I didn’t look like the magazine images of perfect women. Everyone else must have agreed because I had few friends and rarely got a second look from a guy (including my husband). Now I know this was not because of my body size, but because I had a low image of myself.  I made myself unlovable with my negative thoughts and disengaged attitude. I pushed people away and didn’t make the effort to know anyone beyond a superficial level. It was easier to assume they didn’t like me because I was fat, rather than working to develop a relationship with another human.



I lived in my own world with TV, the Internet and the kitchen cabinets as my companions. I had no need for people, and they had no need for me. A world without people is a lonely place. This journey has taught me that it’s good to work at relationships because people enrich my life. I have learned that if I reach out to others, they will reach back for me. When I share my thoughts and feelings, I am building bridges. If I can get past the physical shape of another person and focus on what he or she has to offer me, I am more likely to listen to what she has to say. However, life without prejudgment does not come naturally; I have to work on it.


I have discovered along this journey that a good quality of life requires more effort than lying on the couch in front of the TV. The less I obsess about food and my body, the more content I am. I have friends whom I can call. I can talk about feeling fat today, losing two pounds and wishing it was five or feeling like I could “eat the Bronx.”  The act of reaching out helps break the cycle of compulsive self-medication.

I am no longer “fat” because I can now pass for “normal” in society.  Despite my reduced size, I know I am not normal when it comes to food. If I think I’m normal just because I look normal, I’m in trouble. Fat is more between my ears than on my butt. It will be a "forever" struggle, and the minute I think I'm "there" or I'm "done," I will be opening myself up for failure.

Just like AA, I will have to take this journey one step at a time... knowing that the path has only a beginning and no end.  With the support of my family and friends, I know that I can keep moving down that road -- I may stumble, but there will always be someone there to help me back to my feet.  I am very fortunate and grateful!